In Which Our Heroine Uses A Blanket As A Metaphorical Ladder

When the Pandemic really hit in March of 2020, I was completely overwhelmed – like so many others. Events that I’d been looking forward to for months were suddenly cancelled, and I didn’t know when I could start making those kinds of plans again. The world felt like it was stuck in limbo. I lost my ability to focus on anything for longer than about half an hour at most. Creative projects, including activities I used to find soothing, became almost impossible. I felt like I was in a fog, unable to move forward.

But I had to do something. And, gradually, as the fog started to lift and things seemed to stabilize a bit, I was able to think about ways to help myself both cope and progress with things I wanted to do.

One of the things I decided would help was to start a new project. It had to be easy and comforting with manageable subtasks that I could plan and track and that wouldn’t be affected by outside circumstances. It had to be something that I could do at home, as well as something that didn’t require too much concentration. It also had to be bright and colorful – a mood-booster.

Enter the Portland Blankie.

I’ve made blankets out of squares before, but only one of them has ever gotten finished. The main reason for this, I think, is that I’ve never gone into it with an actual plan. The finished blanket was charted out after I used up scraps of Malabrigo Rios (left over from other blankets) and knew how many squares I had. The other two “in progress” blankets are both being made from scrap sock yarn left over from other projects, and I have absolutely no plan or color scheme in mind. I don’t even know how many squares I’m going to need for each of those blankets.

The Portland Blankie is different. The yarn is Caron Simply Soft, a durable acrylic I’ve worked with before on gifts and enjoyed. It has no dye lots, so I don’t have to worry too much about getting matching yarn if I accidentally don’t buy enough. (So far, so good.)

Once I’d chosen my yarn, I made a Plan.

Just planning this thing felt therapeutic. It gave me something to look forward to, something over which I had control. And that was just the first step. (For the record, I write up an index card for every project so that I can track things like pattern variations and make sure that, if I’m making two of something, they match.)

I’ve been working on the Portland Blankie for a while, and this project ticks so many boxes for me:

• Every square starts the same, and I know what to expect. I have the pattern memorized, but it’s still written down on my Project Card, just in case my brain blanks and I need a refresher.
• When I finish a square (weaving in my ends as I go so Future Me won’t be overwhelmed and never assemble the blanket), I’ve Finished Something. If I really wanted to stop there and use all of the squares as coasters, I could.
• I’m not always working with the same color. It’s easy to change things up so that it never feels like a chore.
• Each square takes me about thirty minutes to complete. That feels very doable when I’m thinking about it, and I feel great after I finish a square. That also means that I don’t have to devote hours at a time (though I absolutely can).
• I can see my progress easily, whether that involves looking at the squares themselves or hashmarks on my Project Card.
• This is something just for me (though I’ll probably share it with Alex if he wants). Pandemic Times have been Times of Sacrifice, and it’s important to remember that we deserve good things, too.

It didn’t take long for every square to feel like a rung on a ladder, helping me climb to a clearer, happier place. I have some other healthy coping mechanisms in my toolbox, but this is what got me started. It worked, and it continues to work, even as I’ve been regaining focus and concentration. I’ve been working on other projects more and the Blankie less, but I’m still working on it between other things. I hope to have it done by next winter – but there’s no rush.

Working on this project has also served to remind me that, no matter how overwhelming the world or our daily tasks may seem, focusing on just finishing the next step can help. And if we don’t get everything done that we want to, giving ourselves some grace is important, too.

One thing at a time.

Times are hard, but there are good things that we can give ourselves. What coping skills or projects have helped you keep your head up during these Tough Times? Let me know in the comments.