Tag: adhd

You Don’t Have To Do That – At Least, Not That Way
Confessions · Knitting · Pondering

You Don’t Have To Do That – At Least, Not That Way

Ovis ObscuraLeave a comment

In Which Our Heroine Reflects On Who Is Truly The Boss Of Her

A grid-ruled notebook in a leather cover lies open. You can see some notes in black pen. A phone in a star-patterned case with an iridescent Pop Socket on the back and a wrist loop lies on top of the notebook.

Like many people with ADHD, I struggle with staying organized. I need routines and systems, and I feel (or have felt) that I needed to follow those specific systems To The Letter if they were going to be effective. I thought that, once I found the right System, all I would need is Discipline and Willpower. And then, everything would fall into place and be perfect forever. I just needed to Follow The Rules.

I’ve discovered that my brain doesn’t work that way. I need multiple tools and, sometimes, a tool that worked really well for me in the past doesn’t work for me now. I’ve started to realize that Rigidity and Complete Commitment to a System are actually counterproductive, which feels weird to me. Shouldn’t an easily-distracted person work better with a Strict Structure?

I’ve had these expectations of myself that I thought were coming from outside/society/friends and family. Actually, most of those expectations came from inside myself. I wanted to do things The Right Way – i.e. the way that looked like it worked for other people.

Then, I discovered How To ADHD while I was reading up on Basic Bullet Journals. (That’s a YouTube link there, and it’ll take you to the channel.) It was unbelievably helpful in helping me realize that It’s Good and Healthy for me to be Flexible. There’s no shame in my brain working differently, and it’s better to work with my brain than against it.

This feels obvious, no? But sometimes, human brains block the obvious because of the Rules. The Rules say that there’s One Right Way To Do Things. It took a bit for me to realize that there are other options, and that it’s OK to explore and figure out what works for me. Flexibility and Reflection are the keys. As long as I accomplish my goals, why should it matter to anyone else how I do that?

Well, maybe it might matter if How I Do That would also help you. So here’s a very quick summary of what’s in my Toolbox:

Right now, my Tools are:

  • B6 Slim Notebook & Pen (as a modified Bullet Journal, because Paper and Pen help me focus and it’s easier to brain dump this way)
  • Trello (my secondary brain app where all of my Bullet Journal Collections and Trackers live)
  • Google Calendar (so I don’t forget appointments)
  • Finch (my self care app that makes me happy and reminds me to do important things like Stretching and Breathing Exercises)

If you’d like to know more about any of the things I mentioned above, leave a comment and I’ll tell you more about how I use them. But remember – find what works for you! You’re the Boss of You! You get to make the Rules!

In conclusion, check out my latest Finished Object:

A knitted cowl in stripes of green, grey, orange, red, and blue on a grey background.

This is the Astronomy KAL from Gauge Dye Works. The idea was that we got to knit one stripe per day of February, and each non-grey stripe represents some sort of astronomical phenomenon. It was really fun, and I’d like to do another one.

But I finished it yesterday. Because I make the Rules.

Confessions · Ooh Shiny

An Amusing Irony

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In Which Our Heroine Remembers Something She Forgot To Say

In my last entry, I did a sort of wrap-up of 2023. It was quick and I tried to remember everything important, but I forgot something!

In 2023, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD (Inattentive Type).

No, the irony has not escaped me.

That said, being diagnosed has actually been a relief. I’m not just silly or scatterbrained – my brain literally works in a different way. Not only that, but lots of other people’s brains work in a similar way, and we have so many tools now to help us live in society without driving the people around us (and ourselves) absolutely around the bend.

I already had a lot of coping mechanisms, but I’ve been working on working with my brain instead of being mad at it for not doing what I think it should do. All of this goes along with managing my anxiety (which is often triggered by feelings of lack of control and forgetting) and working on giving myself grace. I’ve been doing a lot of experimenting (hello, Digital Bullet Journal!) and figuring out things that work in general, as well as things that are working right now but could be tweaked. I’m using the “Oooh! Shiny!” part of my brain to play with attractive organizational systems (both digital and physical) and visual cues that make me feel like I can find things and remember things.

Which leads us to my newest hobby: 3D Printing.

My first project: a Phone Stand with a Useful Divot to put my phone’s Pop Socket in!

This ticks all the boxes for me. It’s compact. It’s useful. It keeps my phone up off my desk and very accessible/viewable for me. It’s also quite sparkly and all the different colors of the Bisexual Flag (which also happen to be my favourite colors anyway). When I expressed an interest in 3D printing, Alex bought me this filament. He knew I would love it.

I’m still learning what goes into doing this successfully, but I have so many plans. I love the idea of having a customized physical organizational system that works for me. (Let me be honest – I just love the idea of customizing and organizing and having lots of things in the colors I want.) I love sorting and putting things in just the Right Place, and then knowing that they’ll be there and that they have a Home where I can find them anytime I need them.

This is going to take time, of course. Setting up Digital Systems is easier than setting up Physical Systems. (I’ll show you some of my Digital Systems in a future post.)

This is only the beginning.