You Don’t Have To Do That – At Least, Not That Way

February 28, 2025 Ovis ObscuraLeave a comment

In Which Our Heroine Reflects On Who Is Truly The Boss Of Her

A grid-ruled notebook in a leather cover lies open. You can see some notes in black pen. A phone in a star-patterned case with an iridescent Pop Socket on the back and a wrist loop lies on top of the notebook.

Like many people with ADHD, I struggle with staying organized. I need routines and systems, and I feel (or have felt) that I needed to follow those specific systems To The Letter if they were going to be effective. I thought that, once I found the right System, all I would need is Discipline and Willpower. And then, everything would fall into place and be perfect forever. I just needed to Follow The Rules.

I’ve discovered that my brain doesn’t work that way. I need multiple tools and, sometimes, a tool that worked really well for me in the past doesn’t work for me now. I’ve started to realize that Rigidity and Complete Commitment to a System are actually counterproductive, which feels weird to me. Shouldn’t an easily-distracted person work better with a Strict Structure?

I’ve had these expectations of myself that I thought were coming from outside/society/friends and family. Actually, most of those expectations came from inside myself. I wanted to do things The Right Way – i.e. the way that looked like it worked for other people.

Then, I discovered How To ADHD while I was reading up on Basic Bullet Journals. (That’s a YouTube link there, and it’ll take you to the channel.) It was unbelievably helpful in helping me realize that It’s Good and Healthy for me to be Flexible. There’s no shame in my brain working differently, and it’s better to work with my brain than against it.

This feels obvious, no? But sometimes, human brains block the obvious because of the Rules. The Rules say that there’s One Right Way To Do Things. It took a bit for me to realize that there are other options, and that it’s OK to explore and figure out what works for me. Flexibility and Reflection are the keys. As long as I accomplish my goals, why should it matter to anyone else how I do that?

Well, maybe it might matter if How I Do That would also help you. So here’s a very quick summary of what’s in my Toolbox:

Right now, my Tools are:

B6 Slim Notebook & Pen (as a modified Bullet Journal, because Paper and Pen help me focus and it’s easier to brain dump this way)
Trello (my secondary brain app where all of my Bullet Journal Collections and Trackers live)
Google Calendar (so I don’t forget appointments)
Finch (my self care app that makes me happy and reminds me to do important things like Stretching and Breathing Exercises)

If you’d like to know more about any of the things I mentioned above, leave a comment and I’ll tell you more about how I use them. But remember – find what works for you! You’re the Boss of You! You get to make the Rules!

In conclusion, check out my latest Finished Object:

A knitted cowl in stripes of green, grey, orange, red, and blue on a grey background.

This is the Astronomy KAL from Gauge Dye Works. The idea was that we got to knit one stripe per day of February, and each non-grey stripe represents some sort of astronomical phenomenon. It was really fun, and I’d like to do another one.

But I finished it yesterday. Because I make the Rules.

Knitting

Progress

January 26, 2025 Ovis ObscuraLeave a comment

In Which Our Heroine Is Bad At Taking Progress Photos, But Manages To Show Her Progress Regardless

Welcome to the New Year, Dear Reader!

This would normally be the part where I talk about how I have Resolved To Blog More Often, Honest, I Really Mean It This Time.

I do mean it, every time. But I’m turning over a new leaf and blogging when I feel like it, not when I feel like I should. I do hope it’s more often than it was in 2024.

I do like to set Goals for each year. However, I watched a really great video from Ryder Carroll about how he’s setting up his 2025 Bullet Journal, and he talked about setting Intentions instead of Goals. Intentions guide what Goals you set, as each Goal lines up with your big Intentions. So, rather than “I’ll exercise three times a week every day this year,” one might write “I will improve my physical health.” Then, you can say “I want to exercise three times this week” and start there.

I really liked this idea. It made sense to me to think about why I’m doing what I’m doing before assigning myself a Goal or a Task.

And I think it’s important to remember that the reason for doing something can be “because it makes me happy.”

With that in mind, I’ve started a long-term project that is making me very, very happy. It starts with a swatch:

A knitted mitered square in gold and green

This represents the first block of the blanket. (I absolutely meant to take a photo of the first block of the actual project, but I got too excited.) At this point, this is what I have:

A folded blanket in progress made of knitted mitered squares. Each square has a bright aqua blue border and a different shade of pink as the main body.

The pattern is Domino Baby Blanket (that’s a Ravelry link), and the construction is so clever and not something I’ve done before. The yarn is my favourite Bugga! from Canon Hand Dyes in the “Tainted Love” Advent Set. I wanted to use every bit of this scrumptious yarn. I love that there’s no seaming to be done when the blanket is finished (though there are many, many ends to weave in).

There are many advantages to this project:

It is a long-term project that will require some dedication to finish. This shows hope for the future.
It is easy to make and track progress.
Every little square puts something positive into the world as an act of creation.
When it’s finished, I will have something useful and warm that will remind me every day that there is still light and joy in this world.

This may seem a bit over-philosophical when talking about a knitting project, but knitting is magical. I can take pretty string and a pair of needles and turn it into an object that, if cared for properly, will last for years and years and possibly bring joy to someone else after I’m gone. And while I’m making it, I’m making my happiness a priority. I’m trying hard this year not to say to myself, “I really should finish all of these other Responsible Adult Tasks before I allow myself to do something fun.” There are times (often) when doing something nice for yourself can be the priority, when it’s good for you to make that a priority.

I hope that, whether you prefer to Make Resolutions or Set Goals or Set Intentions, one of yours for this year is “Be Kind To Myself.”

More Soon!

Knitting · Pondering · Travel

The Best Laid Plans…

January 9, 2024January 21, 2024 Ovis Obscura1 Comment

In Which Our Heroine Asks, “Is This Thing On?”

So, yeah. Hi. It’s me again, over a year from when I last posted.

“Lemme explain. No, there is too much. Lemme sum up.”
Inigo Montoya

It’s been a busy year! Like most years, there’s been some joy, some sorrow, and some growth. The problem is that I’ve been so busy doing things (and procrastinating) that I keep forgetting to share with all of you. Let me correct at least some of that right now.

We (Alex and I) got to visit Jay Leno’s engine collection in January. That was part of a prize we won at an auction in The Beforetimes at the LeMay Auto Museum Fundraiser. It was so much fun (and such a relief) to actually be able to go. Jay Leno is a delightful person. Sadly, he asked us not to post photos on social media for security reasons, so you’ll just have to use your imagination.

We did the Walk of Fame while we were in Hollywood, though, so here’s one of many photos I took of my favourite Stars:

Danny Kaye’s Star in Hollywood, California, along with my feet.

We also saw many, many museums and ate very good food. I took many beautiful photos of art, as one does.

Alex and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary in March. I think I’ll keep him.

We went to the VanDusen Botanical Garden in May for their All British Classic Car Show. This was one among many, many car events we went to this year.

All British Classic Car Show, May 20, 2023

Sports Car Market 1000 Mile Tour, June 14, 2023

All British Field Meet, September 9, 2023

Sadly, also in May, we lost our sweetest fuzzy princess after a sudden illness. We hope to remedy our catless state sometime in May 2024.

We went to Universal Studios and Disneyland with friends in June!

Me, posing in front of the Pride Display at Disney Downtown, June 30, 2023

We went to Italy with my parents and another couple of friends (and that could be Its Own Post Entirely).

Castello di Verrazzano, Greve in Chianti, Italy, August 19, 2023

I knitted. A lot. Unfortunately, I forgot to take photos of most of it, so you get a nice sample photo here:

Matchy-Matchy Dress, Nail Polish, & Shoes with Pretty Knitting, July 29, 2023

I celebrated a year in Therapy in August. My anxiety is way down, I’m happy to report, though it’s still something I get to live with. Therapy is helpful.

And on December 21, Alex and I (with the massive help of our friend, Joel) launched our own YouTube Channel, Everyday To Exotic. Click the link if you feel like watching. It’s for people who like cars, as well as for people who couldn’t care less about cars. You get to see me and Alex being silly and informative, as well as some absolutely gorgeous footage of our cars in the stunning scenery that Oregon provides.

(It’s very cool. We have Official Chairs and Everything.)

Everyday To Exotic Director Chairs, Plus Knitting and a Hat, In The Studio

This year, I’m beginning as I mean to go on. That means more writing, more photos, and more sharing. I hope to spend a lot more time here and to post much more frequent updates. Here’s to 2024!

Me, taking a Selfie at an Odd Angle, wearing a Handknit Hat and Feeling Hopeful

Confessions · Knitting

New Beginnings

December 6, 2022 Ovis ObscuraLeave a comment

In Which Our Heroine Ponders The Benefits of Starting Over

Isn’t this a lovely-looking bit of shawl knitting?

This is the “Promise Me” Shawl by Boo Knits, from her In Love Collection. My mother found this gorgeous gradient and wasn’t sure what to do with it. She admired my own Promise Me, and I offered to knit her one because she is my mother and she adores everything knitted I’ve ever made for her.

However.

I was almost 8 rows into Repeat 3 of the Lace Pattern (which you can knit as many times as you like to expand the body of the shawl) when I realized that I wasn’t going to have enough yarn to knit both that and the edging. Since I didn’t feel like playing yarn chicken, I started tinking back, stitch by stitch, carefully tracking my rows so that I could start the edging at the right place.

Around Row 6, I dropped a stitch. Seriously dropped. Through several rows of yarnovers and decreases.

(Dropped Stitch Not Pictured Because It Was Too Terrible For Sensitive Knitters’ Eyes)

At that point, I had a choice. I could either struggle and try going beyond my expertise to either figure out how to pick up the stitch or hold it until I could tink back to that point, or I could undo the whole thing and start again.

I ripped it out (gently) last night and started over this morning.

As I began the process of casting on for the second time, I thought about how beneficial starting over can be. In this case, I have lost nothing but my own time, and I still don’t think that was truly lost. I’m back in the rhythm of this pattern, I know I’m going to have enough yarn to finish it, and it will still look gorgeous when it’s finished. I feel like the first attempt was a rough draft, and now I have a plan that I know will work. Uncertainty has been replaced with certainty, and I have gained both experience and practice.

There are many other times in life when this choice applies: Fix it, or start over? The correct answer depends on your priorities and your state of mind, as well as what’s healthy for you. Just because you’ve put time into something already doesn’t mean that you have to keep going as you are. You can either go back and fix things, or, if that’s not possible, you can make a fresh start – whatever that looks like to you.

I’m keeping this thought firmly in mind as we end 2022 and look forward to 2023. May it bring hope to your heart as it has to mine.